Reviewed by Fiona Lloyd*
This is not a book for those who like their answers neatly packaged … and yet it is a book filled with hope. Sheila Walsh shares with refreshing honesty her struggles with depression and the pain caused by childhood events, and it is her candour which makes this such a powerful read.
The sub-title for this book is Strength for this beautiful, broken life, which sets out clearly the over-arching theme of In the Middle of the Mess. On first reading, the words “beautiful” and “broken” seem to be at odds with each other, and Sheila regularly makes use of such apparent contradictions to emphasise her ideas. She shares how for many years she projected a bright, shiny “Christian” image in her work as a television presenter, even though inside she was full of turmoil and close to breaking point.
Through her breakdown and ongoing battles with depression and suicidal thoughts, Sheila recognised the necessity of being completely honest with God. She describes how she chose to make confession a part of her daily routine as she realised that salvation is not just about a one-off moment in time, but that ‘there is a present-tense salvation, one that’s offered to us right now in the middle of our mess’. This ongoing aspect of salvation, she discovered, is one that frees us up to be who we were meant to be.
Further on in the text, Sheila examines the dangers of hiding ourselves away, rather than allowing ourselves to be fully known. She writes of herself: ‘I’d believed all my life that if I let anyone else see the worst parts, I’d be left utterly alone.’ However, contrary to her expectations, it was only as she learned to open herself up to others and admit her brokenness that she began to find a measure of healing.
The Christian life is often cluttered with phrases along the lines of “I ought to…” or “I should…”. Sheila is clear that such words become screens behind which we hide our real selves, and that the remedy is to learn to process our emotions in a healthy way. Often, we stuff small disappointments down inside us because they seem so trivial, but this book reminds us that “nothing that affects you is petty to God”. Instead we need to develop the habit of pouring all of our emotions out before God and inviting His light into each and every situation. Being honest and open about our feelings and our weaknesses allows room for God’s peace to fi ll us and for His power to work through our frailties.
In the Middle of the Mess also explores the way truth and lies affect our view of ourselves, and the damage caused when we choose to believe the lies rather than relying on God’s truth. Sheila points out that shame and lies thrive in hiding and solitude, and that there is great value in developing relationships where we feel able to remind one another of the truth.
We often find it easy to make assumptions based on outward appearances, which then paves the way for us to believe false statements about ourselves. Lies such as I don’t belong here and people only include me because they feel obliged to lose their power to harm us when we are willing to risk being vulnerable with others. Furthermore, being willing to talk about our struggles creates a safe space for others and can help us reach out to those who are hurting.
A valuable feature of this book is the short reflections which have been added at the end of each chapter, and I would recommend spending some time working through these. There are simple – but penetrating – questions to pray over, and these are backed up by relevant Bible verses.
Although In the Middle of the Mess is aimed primarily at women – Sheila often refers to her readers as sisters – I believe it would prove beneficial to anyone who is finding life difficult and wonders what God is doing. It would also be an excellent resource for those involved in pastoral care. This book is not a theological treatise on how to deal with depression, and certainly doesn’t make light of our struggles; either in this or in other areas. It is, however, a powerful testament as to how God can meet with us – and walk alongside us – in the midst of our troubles.
*Fiona Lloyd is vice-chair of the Association of Christian Writers and is married with three grown-up children. Her first novel, The Diary of a (trying to be holy) Mum, was published by Instant Apostle in January 2018. She has a passion to encourage women to grow in relationship with God, and to understand that they are loved and accepted. Fiona works part-time as a music teacher and is a member of the worship-leading team at her local church.